this morning it was hot and cloudy. the air is thick. i took a shower to rinse off the sweat and smoke of last night, but only kept sweating. i bathed in shower water and my own sweat. i put on some underwear, a thin dress, and a pair of sandals, and nothing else.
at school, my sticky thighs and i slid around on the plastic chairs. i fanned myself and felt dizzy and hysterical. the whole class was brimming with a heat-induced mania. we laughed and only said the most insane things we could think of in german. nothing got done.
two hours later it rained. not just rained, but violently expelled water. the sky was vomiting rain. projectile showers. it was maybe the first time berlin was dark since i've been here. dark, punctuated by the startling flashes of lightning. lightning, echoed by the growl of thunder that came after. thunder, which collapsed onto the earth and shook the room.
we could do nothing but watch and listen. it was mesmerizing.
and then it stopped.
now, a few hours later, it is raining. it is steady and warm. it is comforting, like the kind of tears you shed when you watch a movie you know will make you cry. just because you want to cry.
and i am lying on my bed, feeling like this weather.
erratic and unpredictable. completely senseless and incongruous. i feel perfect and balmy, and violent and unsettled, and wild. just wild.
i will go out tonight and dance it out and then we will see. which kind of weather happens next.
